When I was younger, new to this, I think I would have been affronted by that. I lacked any finesse whatsoever. I just rushed blindly in. But the idea of handing over the reins might have annoyed me. Now, though I'm not exactly an expert, though the times I get laid are too few, too far between, I'm starting to see all over again that the control has always been theirs. I couldn't say no to her even if I wanted to.

Kissing her hard, I slide my hands down to her ass, willing myself to enjoy the moment. It's too easy to grow impatient, to get swept up so thoroughly that I barely feel the exact things I'm pursuing. It just feels safer in these embraces, where I can bury myself so deep that I don't have to be me anymore. "I'm okay with anything you want."