I relax a little when he raises his hand, backtracking a bit. I feel like I've been just about ready to jump down everyone's throats, but truth be told, right now it's just a reflection of my own insecurity. I don't know what I want, but it's a lot easier to follow the gut sense surrounding what I don't. I don't want pity, I don't really want congratulations either. I wish there was something in between, like sage wisdom or advice that I could take in by osmosis.

"Maybe what's in order is a 'good luck,'" I say, continuing on the way to the cafeteria. "I'm not ready to have a family of my own, but I don't plan on leaving the father, and I don't want any visits paid. I just have to learn in a few months how to turn the table. As much as I can."